Ianto didn't speak much, those first few months at Torchwood, because he'd mastered the art of speaking only when he had too and no one seemed that bothered in including him in conversation.
He spoke even less, immediately after the whole debacle with Lisa, it seemed cruel to call it a debacle, he'd loved her, but he'd realised long ago that he'd made a mistake keeping her alive like that. His Lisa was lost when Torchwood One burned. Still, he couldn't keep silent forever and Jack had made honest effort to engage him. Ianto couldn't help but respond.
And then Jack was gone. He'd died. He'd come back. He'd left them. Ianto knew without a doubt, he'd found his Doctor and he tried quietly to be pleased for him, but the others seemed so lost those first few days, Ianto stayed silent.
Ianto had missed Jack more every day he'd been gone, the hope, the sincere wish that Jack had found was he was looking for, morphed into anger that Ianto himself hadn't been enough. And then Jack came back. He looked more worn, like it had been more than the few months they'd been missing him, been scrabbling along to do their jobs without him.
"You didn't ask," Jack said, standing against Toshiko's desk as Ianto clears up the mess from their impromptu 'snack fest' earlier in the day.
"I didn't," Ianto agreed, without looking at him. And it's not because of his usual reticence, because he could have asked and he half suspects Jack would have told him, at least part of the truth, but it's honestly not his business.
"I saw the end of the world," Jack said, his voice cracking. Ianto looked up, unsurprised to see tears glistening in Jack's eyes. He should be surprised, Jack has always been so strong, compared to all of them, he'd seemed unbreakable, but somehow, he isn't surprised.
"I saw all of you die... and I died, so many times, so many... I thought I'd never see you again," Jack said, the tears sparkling in his eyes, fall slowly down his cheeks, but he doesn't move, doesn't make any effort to receive comfort and Ianto, for now, doesn't offer it.
"The Doctor said I was... wrong. I shouldn't exist. When I was brought back that first time, Rose didn't know what she was doing, she brought me back forever and that's wrong," Jack said, it's a quiet truth and for a moment, Ianto wants to ask, who Rose is, or was, but he doesn't.
"I don't want to be alone, Ianto. I don't want to wake up in a year, or ten, or a hundred and... I'm going to loose you, someday I'm going to loose you and I can't... but I don't want to regret all the times we never had. If I'm going to loose you anyway I want every moment we have, I want to be able to remember every moment with you. I left because I thought he could fix me, or at least that maybe I'd have someone else as immortal as myself, but he couldn't 'fix' me and I don't belong with him anymore. Maybe I never did, maybe it was just all wishful thinking, but I know one thing I learned... I *do* belong here, with you... if you'll still have me," Jack looked at him, so unsure.
"I'll always have you Jack," Ianto smiled softly at him.
"Yeah?" Jack asked, careful. Ianto half suspects, if he said no now, if he sent Jack away, it would break him. There was a time, Ianto might have done that, in those scant few days after Lisa, before Ianto started to realise that Jack had been right.
"Always," Ianto said, moving into Jack's personal space, pulling him into a tight embrace. Jack sags against him, clutching him tightly, quietly shaking.
"I love you, Yan..." Jack murmured.
Ianto smiled. How he's wanted to hear Jack say that, say it and mean it. If Jack had said it before, Ianto wouldn't... couldn't... have believed him. "I love you too, Jack."
Jack rested against him, breathing evenly as he calmed. "I was so scared. Where I come from... things are so different Ianto. I have never felt like this, ever. You... I love you."
Ianto made Jack look at him, made him really look at him. "I don't share my partners Jack. I didn't press before, because this was... but not anymore. If you say you love me, I expect you to be faithful."
Jack smiled, a brilliant and dazzling smile that should have been off-set by the tear tracks, but wasn't. "I will. I promise, Ianto."
"And no more hiding in the archives. I want to go out to dinner, curl up on the sofa and watch a movie... might even ask Gwen if she and Rhys want to double date," Ianto said.
Jack looked startled. "You wouldn't!"
"I wouldn't," Ianto agreed. "But I am going to hold you to that offer of a date."
"Dinner, dancing..." Jack grinned.
"I thought you said a movie," Ianto said.
"We can do both. I want to dance with you," Jack said.
"Not in public," Ianto said.
Jack frowned, but nodded. "As long as we can in private."
"Jack..." Ianto hated to do this, when Jack looked like he finally had a real sparkle in his eyes, but they couldn't just ignore it.
"I know. There are a lot of things we need to talk about," Jack sighed. "Can we do it tomorrow? I just want... can we go back to your place, get out of here..."
Ianto nodded. "We can. Just let me finish a few things here."
"I'll be in my office, pretending to work while I watch you..." Jack said, smiling naughtily. He almost looked like the old Jack, but there was a sparkle of something else in his eyes, something new that hadn't been there before.
"I'll bend over often, just for you," Ianto promised, kissing him softly, biting his bottom lip gently. "Though there are reports you should actually read."
"You can tell me about all the cool stuff later anyway," Jack said.
Ianto smirked, pressing Jack back until he was right against Toshiko's desk. "I didn't think we'd be doing that much talking."