"Well Major, I hate to admit it but you're perfectly fine. Your free to go," Carson told John.
No one was more shocked than John himself that he was alive, his 'suicide run' at the Wraith ship should have been the end of him... if it hadn't been for Rodney... my God it would have been the end of him.
"Thanks Doc... you seen Rodney about?" John asked.
"Not since you returned Major I imagine he's out cold on his bed by now, I've never seen anyone push themselves so hard as Rodney has the last few days," Carson told him, a soft look on the Scottish mans face. Rodney McKay could be incredibly infuriating, but everyone on this base had come to respect the dedicated scientist, and any who hadn't before certainly had in the last two weeks as Rodney pushed himself beyond most levels of human endurance to find a way to save them all.
"Kay. Night Doc." John tossed a quick smile at Carson as he left the infirmary.
He went straight to Rodney's quarters but the scientist was no where to be found.
"Huh..." John shrugged and headed for the labs instead. The labs were almost empty, only a few people still moving around this late at night.
"Hey Zelenka, you seen Rodney?" John asked.
"Chair room," Zelenka told him, sounding and looking tired.
"Get some sleep Radek, I'm sure whatever it is can wait till morning, it's been a rough few days," John told him, forcing himself to use his first name, he didn't do that with most of the scientists, to John it was a sign of friendship, and respect to use first names, but Zelenka had done good work, he'd earned John's respect.
Zelenka nodded thankful for the permission to go to bed.
John watched Zelenka trudge of and headed for the chair room. Rodney he found on hands and knees beside the chair, fiddling with the generator.
"Rodney... hey Rodney."
Rodney looked up startled, eyes wide and red rimmed.
"Rodney come on buddy, bed time."
"I'm busy Major," Rodney spat out, like he'd only just realized who had entered the room.
"Rodney..." John's brow furrowed. Rodney hadn't called him Major off duty in months not since they'd become lovers. What was wrong now? Well obviously Rodney was tired they all were, I mean they'd spent the last two weeks fearing the arrival of the wraith and the last several days desperately trying to fight them off. They could all have been horribly dead right now, but somehow they weren't.
"Rodney..." John 'thought' the doors to the room closed, and locked, as he moved closer to Rodney's crouched form.
John's hand on Rodney's shoulder seemed to snap some invisible wire inside Rodney because he stood up and swung around landing a punch on John that probably would have made him proud if it hadn't been aimed at him.
"Oww Rodney what the fuck!"
"You bastard!" Rodney screamed at him. "You fucking inconsiderate prick! You and your fucking bravery and honor, going out there all prepared to kill yourself without one fucking thought to how I would feel!"
John stayed on the floor where he'd landed after Rodney's unexpected right hook, stunned into silence as Rodney screamed at him, his face getting redder and redder, tears streaming down his face, until he just stopped, mid-sentence, and threw up on the floor.
"Rodney..." John jumped up, ignoring the slightly dizzy feeling he got, and bending over beside Rodney, gently rubbing his back.
"Easy... that’s it... we all done... come on sit up." John sat Rodney in the control chair, and grabbed the water bottle lying on the floor near by.
"Drink," John ordered.
Rodney did as he was told. Any fight that had been in him a minute ago, had since vanished, he looked utterly exhausted, and despondent.
"Come on Rodney, time for bed," John said.
Rodney followed John quietly through the halls to his room.
The bed was neatly made; John realized it must have been days since Rodney had slept there.
"When do you last eat?" John asked.
"Don't know," Rodney sunk down onto the cot.
"Okay, lay down I'll hunt down some food," John said, intent on heading to the mess to steal whatever leftovers he could find.
"You left me," Rodney murmured. The voice was so low, John was almost sure he'd imagined it, but when he looked back Rodney was watching him, eyes full and glistening with fresh unshed tears.
"Oh Rodney..." And John was beside him in a second, letting Rodney cling to him as he finally let go of the last few days, maybe of the last several months.
John felt tears prickle at his own eyes, and he let them fall.
"I'm sorry," Rodney mumbled, his face pressed against John's neck.
"No, Rodney, I am. I didn't have time to think about anything except that the Wraith were getting closer, and we had no way of stopping them except those A-bombs. I'm sorry I put you through that, but it's okay, you saved me Rodney. You brought me home." John kissed Rodney's brow, as he continued to talk softly, not really about anything, just gentle reassurances.
Somehow they ended up lying down, Rodney curled into John's side, softly snuffling in his sleep as John listened, and watched. Sometimes John forgot that under all the bluster Rodney was just as damn unsure about all this as he was.
Not about them, not about this, John was very sure and he was fairly confident Rodney was sure too... they hadn't said... THAT... yet, but he was sure they both felt it. But they were in another galaxy, with aliens who wanted to use them as snacks, and with too many enemies and too few allies, and sometimes it was just too much.
Rodney was brilliant. He had a brilliant mind. He was braver than he gave himself credit for. He was the only thing around here that kept John sane most days. But Rodney was still just as unsure, and as scared as John himself was, they both kept it well hidden though.
Rodney murmured in his sleep, and John held him tighter, running comforting fingers up and down his spine, a tried and true method of soothing Rodney back to peaceful sleep.
The next time John was aware of anything it was of Rodney's stomach growling. Blue eyes looked apologetic, but John just smiled.
"I'll get food. You stay."
John got coffee, real, honest, actual coffee, and eggs... from a real, honest, actual chicken, also grabbing some toast, and took it back to Rodney's room.
The room was empty, but he could hear the shower, so he settled down and munched on some toast until Rodney came back out only a towel around his waist.
"Coffee. Eggs. Toast. All from earth... well, actually the bread is local, but the coffee and eggs are from Earth," John said, pointing at the tray.
Rodney ate everything John had brought him.
"Hungry?" John asked, a teasing twinkle in his eye.
"Starving," Rodney agreed, ignoring the sarcasm as he finished his coffee.
Rodney was still only covered by the towel. At any other time John would have jumped him by now, but John had done a lot of thinking while he'd watched Rodney sleep, and there were a few things he had to say.
"What, why are you looking at me like that?" Rodney asked.
John had planned out a whole big speech, exactly what he was going to say, but sitting here looking at Rodney, he couldn't remember a word of it.
"I love you."
Rodney just stared at him, like he had lost his mind.
"That was not how I planned on saying that. Look, I know we've never talked about it, but... these last few weeks, last night, it put a lot of stuff in perspective. If anything does happen to either one of us, I want you to know that I love you."
"Oh... I... really? Me?"
John almost laughed, Rodney looked so genuinely puzzled.
"Yes Rodney... you. Y. O. U. You. Rodney McKay, geek, pain in the ass... love of my life." John finished with a flourish.
"No need to get flowery about it," Rodney said, but he wasn't being rude, he was smiling, the kind of smile John wanted to put on his face every day. The kind that said 'I love you too, even if you are a bastard.'
John pushed Rodney backwards onto the bed and kissed him soundly.
"That too flowery for you?" John asked with a grin.
"Oh no, that’s just about... riiiight," Rodney moaned when John bit down gently on his shoulder.
"I love you," John murmured again as he kissed Rodney.
Kiss, after kiss, after kiss, until John wasn't sure he remembered how to breath. And he wasn't sure he wanted to if it meant stopping.
"I love you too," Rodney murmured.
"Huh?" John's eyes were dark with need, and his brain was not functioning on the higher levels, damn it oxygen deprivation did nothing for his IQ.
"I said. I. Love. You. Too," Rodney repeated like he was talking to a child.
"Oh... that's... I'm glad, yeah... very... why did we stop kissing?" John asked.
Rodney smiled, and pulled John down for more kisses.
Rodney had no doubt John would continue to do things like that, to put his life in danger, and it scared the hell out of him no question, but it was a part of John, and despite himself Rodney couldn't wish for that to change. He just had to hope the luck that had saved them more than once over the last several months continued to hold.