This room, this house, this town is dark now, she is gone, dead and this time there is nothing anyone can do to change that.
I wish I could, I tried thinking of ways, spells for reviving the dead, but I won’t use them, I know it would bring back only a hollow shell and not my Buffy.
Time reversals, but I’m not powerful enough to do them, my majicks have been dormant far to long, any attempt would only kill me and though that might be a blessing for me, I promised her I would protect her friends, her family, and I will do everything in my power to keep that promise.
I will fight the good fight, live the good life, try to give Dawn all the opportunities Buffy never had, simply because it is what Buffy wanted.
At first I was so tempted to just send Dawn to her father, weather he wanted it or not, weather she wanted to or not, but I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t send Dawn to a man that in reality she had never even met, no matter what her memories told her, besides he didn’t want her there, he has a new family and Dawn I suspect would have been treated like a second class citizen compared to them.
When the papers finally came through stating me as Dawn’s legal guardian, I cried, so did she, we were a family, but we both knew we were an incomplete family, without Buffy.
It’s been three months now. Dawn is back in school, I am back at the Magic shop. Willow and Tara are together and living happily still going to Sunnydale University. Xander and Anya are finally settling down and me, I am still spending each night here, sleeping in the room where she slept, in the bed she slept in, trying not to cry myself to sleep.
If only I could go back in time, just for a little while, a few hours, a few minutes, just so I could tell her I loved her, still love her, will always love her. But I can’t, still I wish time and again. If only I could go back in time. If only.