After the lights go out I wait with bated breath, a few minutes pass till I hear the rustling that tells me he's moving.
Another moment and he's out the door.
I quietly get up and follow him, though I'm not sure why... but I do.
I see him headed towards post-op... maybe he's worried about a patient... this is what I try to convince myself everytime this happens, and everytime I know it's a lie... he's not going to see a patient.
A figure stands shrouded in the darkness, hidden where no-one will see them, unless they know to look.
I watch as he moves closer to the figure, see desperate arms pulling him close, see desperate lips covering his.
It's hard to see in the dark, and I can't really see a lot, mostly just shadows, but I see enough... I see them clinging desperately together, clutching to each other like this is the only time they'll have... it isn't, they've had ones before this and they'll likely have ones after, but it's still always the same.
I move closer, as close as I dare to watch.
Two mouths clashing against each other, like they are trying to suck the air, the life right out of the other person, to consume the other person until they are one person... and as I see their lips joined like this... maybe they are.
I could destroy both of them with this knowledge... and there was a time, I might have done it too, just to spite them... before I lost Margaret, and I realised just how precious it is to find something like this... something to keep yourself sane in this place... because as much as I try to be the perfect patriot, I hate this war as much as they all do.
I see them gasping for breath, barely restraining themselves for even a second until they dive back in again... I'll leave them too it... let them have their dirty little secrets, and their sanity... and I'll go back to my bunk with the images of their fevered, desperate kisses as my only companion...